Letter to My Son

Tonight your daddy and I had a fight.  It was loud and it got heated.  You were playing in the other room but came toddling in to see.  You are too young to understand our words, but you heard our tone.  You knew we were mad at each other and in the midst of this fight I turn and look at you.  You stood so quietly watching, learning, hearing and feeling.  Your face told me all that I needed to know.  I scooped you up and up the stairs we went.  I drew you a warm bath and filled it with bubbles and together we played with all the toys.  I smiled and giggled even though part of my mind was on the fight that had been going on a few minutes ago.  I long to explain to you the bigger picture but know that you can’t understand. So for now I want to say I am sorry.

I am sorry that I brought you into this world and it wasn’t perfect.  You deserve so much better.  You deserve two perfect parents that never fight, that don’t have problems, that don’t let each other down.  More importantly, we should have had it better figured out before you came along.  Everyone says, you can’t time a baby perfectly.  ‘There is no right time’.  But tonight I want to raise my voice in descent. Maybe we should have tried harder.  Had our crap a little more figured out.  Perhaps been brave enough to say we aren’t good enough to have a baby.  Honest enough to say we don’t deserve to bring a life into this world. Yeah, compared the news stories we all hear, I am sure we come off looking pretty perfect but it’s not about the other failing parents.  It is about you, and the moment I realized my life choice was hurting you.

A child comes into this violent, broken world filled with innocence.  And we break it.  As your mom, I logically know that I will fail you, but my heart only screams you deserve better.  Tonight I saw two worlds collide.  1. My grown up world, the man I married and loved.  Failing and fighting and living.  Struggling the way couples do, fighting to the death for what each believes and feels, fighting our demons, dealing with our short comings as a couple. And 2. My motherhood, I am your protector, provider, the center of your world.  I am to bring you joy, giggles and hope.  I am here to help you grow up strong and brave. I am here to nurture you, love you.  You know me as Mom. But tonight you saw me as wife and partner.  You saw the uglier side of life.  You saw me angry and sad.  You didn’t need to see it.  It doesn’t make you stronger or better.  It may actually harm you.  I did that and I am so sorry.

I am probably going to screw up tomorrow.  But I hope that I learn from tonight.  I hope I never forget your face as you looked back and forth between the two of us.  I hope I never forget the feeling of realizing that you knew, you heard and you felt.  I hope I never take for granted your presence, your life, or the gift that God gave me in you.  This life sucks sometimes, son, but you are my bright light of hope.  Money will come and go.  Struggles will always be around the corner but I have only a short time to keep you innocent and protected from all this world seeks to destroy and going forward I hope to keep you safer a little longer.  Know that you are loved, deeply and completely.  No matter what tomorrow brings, I will be your mom first.

Prepared

I have been prepared for everything in my life.  I was prepared for school, long before kindergarten started.  I was prepared to go to college and on to grad school.  I was prepared for my first job and each career change afterwards.  I was prepared to get married, buy a house and get pregnant.  We planned, saved, spent.  I began nesting for the baby, the day the pregnancy was confirmed.  His room was done and set up before the 12 week mark.  I knew he was destined to be in my life and I was so excited.  I planned for labor.  I went to the classes, read the books, got advice and packed two suitcases.  The one part of my journey to Motherhood that I wasn’t prepared for was the moments after birth.  Those first 24 hours still haunt me as the hardest, scariest, and biggest let down.  Everyone told me that the greatest, most beautiful moment of a mother’s life, is when the child is laid on her chest for the first time.  I dreamed about that moment.  I couldn’t wait to hold him, talk to him, count his fingers and toes.  Tell him I love him.  See how beautiful he turned out to me.  But it didn’t quite go that way for me.

I don’t think I had an overly traumatic labor or delivery.  Yet, I wasn’t prepared for the moment when this little boy laid down on my chest and looked up at me from the corner of eye as he began to nurse. I remember he had these deep blue eyes and he side eyed me almost like a grown kid.  It threw me for a loop, he was real, he was a person and already had a personality.  Despite months of talking to him, praying for him, singing to him, preparing and dreaming of him, I didn’t know those eyes that stared up at me.   I didn’t recognize the face.  Here was this human that loved me completely, trusted me intrinsically and needed me deeply.  In those early moments I was scared out of my mind.  Never in my life had someone loved me, trusted me and needed me as deeply he did.  How could I measure up, give him all that he needed, and be enough?  In those early moments, I was exhausted from laboring all night, I was weak from blood loss and I was scared.  My husband took over and watched intently as they wiped him down, bathed him, weighed him, and changed his diaper.  He had a precious moment of holding a sleeping baby, whispering ‘I love you’ to him while I got some much needed sleep. Those were the moments I was supposed to have.  It was the husband that was supposed to be passed out on a couch while the wife cooed to her new baby.    Together, we made it through the first day and all the visitors.  Each time, I held him, I studied him intently, trying to make my connection.  I watched as grandparents and godparents all “oooed” and “ahhhed” over him.  Meanwhile, feeling relief that I didn’t have to hold him.  He was so heavy.  Mothering had kicked in and I was worried about whether or not he was getting enough milk, how to change the diaper, and swaddle him.  In my way, I was doing all the practical stuff without the heart fully attached.  It wasn’t until the next day, when Davey and I had a moment just the two of us.  I put on some country music that I had spent the summer singing to him and sang to him while he stared up at me. As his little eyes began to close, I felt my heart explode for the very first time.   A little over 24 hours after his birth, I officially fell in love and felt ready for what was next.

What came next is a daily heart explosion.  People can tell you about, cartoons can show it, but until you experience it, you can’t prepare for it.  I spend my days, looking for ways to make him smile, give him an experience that he will enjoy.  No matter what I give it never seems to be enough.  But no matter how tired, worn out, touched out I am in the moment, one look at him and I’m ready to start all over again.  Nothing in my life could have prepared me for this deep awesome love that I have for my son.  As I have contemplated my love for Davey, I can’t help but think about God.  All my life, I have been told that God’s love is a Father’s love for a son.  Now, I am sure a father loves differently than a mom but I also know that my husband has the same heart explosions that I do.  He is as exhausted as I am, and yet will play the same game again and again.  So if by having a son, I have been given a glimpse into the awesome love that God has for us, then perhaps I don’t need to spend my life preparing and controlling as much.  If God loves me the way I love my son, then he will protect and provide because at the end of the day, nothing makes a parent happier than seeing their child smile.

Becoming Mom

I use to be a totally different person. I think if I close my eyes I can still picture the old me, but as time goes by that vision becomes less and less clear. I remember I was good at what I did. Very good. I commanded respect in my field. I was in my element negotiating $500k+ plus deals. Talking finance with my clients, doing numbers in my head. I was known for being hard and cut throat. I was organized and professional. I had a perfect, model-like home. I had my hair professionally cut, colored and styled. I wore Brooks Brothers and on casual days I wore Ralph Lauren. I took my husband to Dublin, Ireland for the weekend to celebrate his 30th birthday. I had money. I got monthly massages, belonged to a health club that I only visited in the summer for the pool. I had bills, big bills. Yet, every month my business covered it. I guess you could say I peaked at 31 and if you asked back then if I were happy. I would say “hell yes! Living the dream!”

Today you can find me at Wal Mart, trying to decided if I really need that discounted candle. I am in jeans and a flannel shirt, I don’t even think the tag tells the brand. They are that cheap. Today, I negotiate a deal to eat the toothbrush instead of cleaning our penis with it. Things I said today: “Don’t eat that!” “We don’t eat things unless they are on the floor” “Don’t eat off the doctors floor” “don’t eat your poop” “Cow says what?” I mopped and vacuumed my house with a baby on my hip. Threw as much stuff as I could into the closet and climbed over a train to walk, out of a bedroom today. I wear my hair in a bun and think the hair cuttery gives great hair cuts, considering I have a baby climbing on me while it gets done. I dream about going on a trip…to walmart without a baby and husband. I now have real bills, that are necessary to life, no extras and while my husband makes good money, there never seems to be quite enough. But ask me if I am happy…Hell Yeah. It is a different type of happy though. This is soul grounding, joy holding, Heart overflowing, tear filled eyes, contentment. I didn’t know this type of happiness existed. If I did, I would never have taken the path that I did.

I spent my 20’s pursuing wealth, things, objects, keeping up. I wanted to be the best, have the nicest, do the most. And for a small town girl, I did pretty well. Then I got pregnant, I was married, it was planned. But everything changed in me. The world didn’t change, the house we lived in, the bills we had, the jobs…they all were still there but at 8 weeks pregnant I saw my son on the sonogram and I changed. It was a life stopping moment. His little head bobbled around on the screen and I fell in love. We canceled memberships, sold the house, downsized homes, towns and for me I got rid of the job. Today, I wonder if I am doing anything right, knowing that I wouldn’t change a thing. The last two years of my life have taught me, that happiness doesn’t come from the balance sheet, the home we live in, the town, or the job. Happiness comes from within. It comes from God. Happiness is found when you let go of this world and hold on to the hand of God. And before you think I am this good Christian – know that I am not holding on, I am clinging with all my might. Hoping that I am strong enough to hang on when life gets rocky.

14.5 months ago, I was told I became a Mom and that may be so, but I chose to think that I am “Becoming Mom” each and every day. I am growing, failing, learning and loving my way to motherhood. It is messy, ugly, and beautiful and I invite you to share it with me.

Interested in the Reserve at Makefield Development? Don’t Go Without Buyer Representation!

Reserve at Makefield - Call Anna Domzalski 215-504-2512
Call Anna Domzalski at 215-504-2512 to be YOUR Buyer’s Agent for the Reserve at Makefield. (Photo: Toll Brothers)

Before I give you some information on the new Toll Brothers development in Newtown, PA called the Reserve at Makefield, I wanted to highlight a few important advantages of having a Buyer’s Agent like me with you at the table.  Keep in mind that if you want me as your Buyer’s Representative, you need to contact me before you visit the builder.  Otherwise, I won’t be able to represent you.  Just call me at 215-504-2512 or email me at Anna@AnnaDomzalski.com.

Consider the advantages of Buyer Representation:

You Get Somebody on Your Side

Enlisting the services of a professional Buyer’s Agent is similar to using an accountant to help you with your taxes, a doctor to help you with your health care, or a mechanic to help you with your car. If you had the time to devote to learning everything about accounting, medicine, and automotive mechanics, you could perform these services yourself.

But seriously, who has time for such endeavors?  This is why you enlist the help of proven professionals.

Your real estate agent will take care of the hassles of everyday real estate transactions for you, allowing you to concentrate on your full-time job, while guiding you through the home-buying process.  Agents exclusively represent your interests as they help you find a home, present your contract offer, negotiate, and close on your home.

You Get Somebody Who Understands Your Home Ownership Needs

Just as your accountant, doctor, and mechanic understand your specific needs, your Buyer’s Agent understands your real estate needs and concerns. And they achieve this type of understanding through open communication at all times. Your Buyer’s Agent will save you a lot of time by providing you the needed details about a potentially interesting home before your see itAlso, your Buyer’s Representative will listen to your feedback and concerns about each home.

You Get the Home With Less Stress

The advantage of signing a Buyer’s Agency Agreement is that you will have a professional agent working to find and secure the ideal home for you. It is nearly impossible to find a home that meets your exact needs, get a contract negotiated, and close the transaction without an experienced agent.

You won’t need to spend endless evenings and weekends driving around looking for homes or trying to search websites by yourself. When you tour homes with your professional Buyer’s Agent, you will already know that the homes meet your criteria and are within your price range.

Plus, Having Buyer Representation is FREE!

Entering into a Buyer’s Agency Agreement has countless advantages. When you sign the agreement, you are simply agreeing to “hire” a personal representative who, by law, must represent your best interests to the best of his or her ability. All of this personal service is available at absolutely NO COST TO YOU! In states like Pennsylvania, the Seller’s Agent is responsible for paying your Buyer’s Agent fee. So, you get a professional agent devoted to protecting your needs and to helping you make one of the most important investment decisions of your life, and all for free.

Agents that Work for Builders Represent the Builder … Not You!

So, think about that.  If you go to the Reserve at Makefield without a Buyer’s Agent / Representative, you are at the mercy of the agents there who work for Toll Brothers.  I’m not saying that they’re bad people, but they work for Toll Brothers.  They do NOT work for you.  In this case, you are going in this transaction alone without anybody going to bat for you.  I don’t know about you, but I would rather have somebody be my advocate in a big decision like this.

That is exactly what I can do as your Buyer’s Agent for the Reserve at Makefield — or any home you want to buy for that matter.  I’m on your side, I make it easy, and I’m here for you!  Just call me at 215-504-2512 or email me at Anna@AnnaDomzalski.com.

Now, here’s some information on the new Reserve at Makefield development by Toll Brothers:

Address: 266 Stoopville Road, Newtown, PA 18940

County: Bucks

School District: Council Rock

Reserve at Makefield Home Designs:

84 Hillcroft Way, Newtown, PA 18940 - Anna Domzalski Realtor Newtown Keller Williams

Just Sold in 5 Days: 84 Hillcroft Way, Newtown, PA 18940

84 Hillcroft Way, Newtown, PA 18940 - Anna Domzalski Realtor Newtown Keller Williams
84 Hillcroft Way, Newtown, PA 18940 sold in 5 days!

 

I wanted to let you know that my listing at 84 Hillcroft Way in Newtown recently sold in only 5 days.  In case you’re wondering, check out the listing information below.  See how your home compares.  If you want to sell or buy a home in Newtown, I am more than happy to help.  As you can see, the market is heating up!  Give me a call at 215-504-2512.

Address: 84 Hillcroft Way, Newtown, PA 18940

Price: $269,000

MLS #: 6545228

Beds: 2  /  Baths: 1/1

Square Ft: 1,628

Remarks: Public:This stunning 2-bedroom townhouse sits in the highly sought-after EAGLE RIDGE area of NEWTOWN in the award-winning COUNCIL ROCK SCHOOL DISTRICT. Start your family memories in this nature-filled setting with a jogging/walking trail, private community pool and clubhouse minutes from your front door. The beautifully-maintained park-like setting welcomes you into this elegant, but comfortable townhouse. The gleaming hardwood floors, graceful staircase and custom-mirrored wall in the foyer sets the tone for this townhouse. The living room welcomes you with fabulous attention to detail was given to this room’s built-in bookcases, hardwood flooring, crown molding and custom-designed mantel over the wood-burning fireplace. Lots of sun fills this room from the large bay window. The dining room features beautiful hardwood flooring and ample room for special family occasions and entertaining. The spacious kitchen will delight the family chef with its energy efficient stainless steel appliances (dishwasher/over-the-range microwave and chef’s gourmet gas stove and brand new artisan sink with upgraded faucet). Upgraded granite counter tops and beautiful hardwood floor complete this gourmet kitchen. The powder room is beautifully done in soothing wall color, upgraded tile flooring, ample counter and storage space and elegant window treatments. On the second floor, the spacious owner’s suite is luxuriously carpeted, has an overhead fan, and is light-filled with beautiful window treatments. The master bedroom has a huge walk-in closet with a custom double hanging and shelving system offers loads of storage space. The adjoining bathroom with new floor tile, tub/shower combo has plenty of counter space/storage. A second bedroom is done in carpet, has an ample-size closet, overhead fan, and lots of window light. The loft is perfect for quiet evenings of reading and relaxing. The lower level is well thought out with its custom track lighting system and custom built-in cherry office with 46″ cabinets with plenty of storage, and work area. This area is wired for sound and large enough for a future wine cellar, media room or a possible third bedroom. HIGHLIGHTS: This townhouse has been well cared for and is in ‘move-in condition’. Upgraded plumbing throughout home includes new faucet and under-mount in kitchen and all plumbing fixtures and pipes in master bathroom and new plumbing in half bath. Easy commute to I-95 and Route 1 and footsteps away from community pool.

clean your home for sale bucks county anna domzalski realtor 215-504-2512

Clean Your Home Before You List

clean your home for sale bucks county anna domzalski realtor 215-504-2512
Photo: Wikimedia Commons

So, you’re thinking of selling your home?  Well, before you do anything (especially before you begin staging), you need to make sure you clean your home from top to bottom.  I can’t tell you how many homes I walk into during a listing presentation where the homeowners haven’t done anything to prepare their homes for showings.  I’m talking about dust being visible on tables!  Don’t be one of those homeowners.

Please, do yourself a favor and check out my recommendations and resources that can help you get your home nice and clean.  Most importantly, your home with be well on its way to being ready for showings and getting those potential buyers in the door (and falling in love with your home).

Clean Those Windows

This may seem like an obvious item to include on your home cleaning checklist, but you would be surprised about how many sellers neglect their windows. Your house will actually show worse if you do not clean your windows and potential buyers will actually notice LESS sunlight coming in as a result of the dirt. There is a reason cleaning your windows make the number one spot on the spring cleaning checklist. And, yes, get a ladder and do the upstairs windows if you have to!

Here’s a tip from Martha Stewart on cleaning your windows:

Dirty panes are no problem when you use rubber-edged squeegees, which are quicker and more effective than cloth or newspaper. They come in a variety of sizes — and a screw-on extension will let you reach high spots.

Clean All Bedrooms

Let me be honest with you for a second. If you were a buyer and you walked into the cluttered mess that is your bedroom or child’s bedroom, are you buying the house? Probably not. Well, guess what – potential buyers of your home will feel exactly the same way!

So, get up, get moving, and follow this spring cleaning checklist for your bedroom from About.com:

  • Grab your supplies.
  • Grab all dirty clothing and put it in a hamper.
  • Grab all clean clothes and refold or re-hang.
  • Grab all trash and put in the trashcan.
  • Make the bed.
  • Pick up all the misplaced items on the floor, bed, desk, etc.
  • Straighten surfaces.
  • Sweep and mop or vacuum.
  • Put away your supplies

Check out the full 15-minute bedroom checklist here.

Consult Our Additional Spring Cleaning Resources

Martha Stewart’s Spring Cleaning Checklist

Easy Spring Cleaning Tips to Help You Get Started

About.com’s Complete Spring Cleaning Checklist

Well, I sure hope that this post gives you a solid foundation to start with as you clean your soon-to-be-listed home.  I realize that cleaning an entire house can be a crazy process, so please contact me and I can put you in touch with the home cleaners that I use if you find that the task is overwhelming.  If you decide to take it on yourself, break it down into digestible chunks so it’s more manageable.

If you have any questions or want me to come by to talk to you about selling your home, please call me at 215-504-2512 or email me at Anna@AnnaDomzalski.com.  Also, just to let you know, I’m now a part of Keller Williams in Newtown, PA, so make note of the new office phone number (215-860-4200) and address (12 Terry Drive, Newtown, PA).

5 Reasons Why Smart Bucks County Home Sellers List Their Homes in Winter

sell your bucks county home in the winter with anna domzalski
Credit: Google Images

Ok, yes, it’s freezing out there.  And, yes, we just wrapped up the holidays.  Fine, you got me, winter with the dirty snow can be messy.  But, all of that minor drama aside, let me tell you why the smartest home sellers in Bucks County are listing (and SELLING) their homes during the winter.

Reason #1: Seriously Motivated Home Buyers

Are you one of the many homeowners who believe buyers hibernate during the winter?  Well, trust me.  They do not!  Serious buyers, motivated buyers, and seriously motivated buyers are out there looking all the time.  If your home isn’t on the market — and it happens to be the perfect fit for the buyers out there — you will easily miss out.  Buyers won’t know how great your home is for them — if it’s not listed.

Reason #2: Potential Cost Savings

Are you already moved in to your new home?  Don’t you just HATE having to pay TWO mortgages?  Yes, that’s pretty rough — especially if it’s not a beach or vacation home!  By getting your home on the market now in the winter, you save all of that extra money going on a mortgage for a home you’re not even living in!  Smart sellers avoid that big money waster.

Reason #3: Quick Close

Fewer homes on the market means a faster close for you.  There is less work to go around for agents, mortgage lenders, home inspectors, and title companies, so that means more time to get you and the buyer to the closing table.  Smart sellers know the value of a quick close (see Reason #2).

Reason #4: You’re Just As Likely to Sell within 6 Months in Winter as Spring

According to a March 2011 to March 2013 study conducted by Redfin, sellers are just as likely to sell their home IN 6 MONTHS in the winter (50%) as the spring (51%) in our area.  Get your home on the market NOW and chances are you will be closing in 180 days.  Plus, you will be miles ahead of the other sellers who just begin thinking about putting their homes on the market this spring.

Reason #5: You Have a Better Chance to Sell for MORE than Asking Price

Finally, the LA Times cites Redfin in this article about selling your home in the winter.  I’ll let this quote speak for itself (emphasis added):

… if you want to sell for more than your asking price, listing in December, January, February and March gives you a better chance on average than if you list any time from June through November.

Do I have you convinced to sell your Bucks County home this winter?  If so, please give me a call at 215-504-2512 right away.  Let’s get it on the market.  If you’re not convinced, well you should call me too.  I would be more than happy to discuss your options!

Who’s Serving Dinner on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in Newtown, PA?

christmas eve dinner in newtown pa
Image: Wikimedia Commons

Let me guess.  It’s a little over a week until Christmas and you still haven’t booked your reservations at one of the fine restaurants in Newtown.  No worries.  I have you covered.  Here are the restaurants serving Christmas Eve and/or Christmas Day dinner.  Make your reservations ASAP!  And have a very Merry Christmas!

Christmas Eve Dinner

The Brick Hotel will be serving dinner on Christmas Eve starting at 4 pm.  To make a reservation, just call 215-860-8613 or visit their website to reserve through OpenTable.  The Brick Hotel is located at 1 East Washington Avenue in Newtown.

La Stalla will also be serving a special menu for Christmas Eve dinner.  To reserve your table, call 215-579-8301 or visit LaStallaRestaurant.com.  To get there, head over to 18 Swamp Road in Newtown.  It’s next to Rita’s and Sleepy’s.

Piccolo Trattoria will be offering its “Feast of the Seven Fishes”, but you can also select from the everyday menu too.  For reservations, call 215-860-4247 or visit their website.  Here’s the information for Piccolo’s Newtown location: Newtown Shopping Center at 32 West Road.

Vecchia Osteria will also be offering the “Feast of the Seven Fishes.”  I hear the Chilean Sea Bass is good there!  For reservations, call 215-860-7774 and visit their website for more information. They’re located at 20 Richboro Road in Newtown.

Christmas Day Dinner

KO is open on Christmas Day and will be happy to take your restaurant.  To reserve your table, call 215-860-5515.  They’re located at 2817 South Eagle Road in Newtown.

Oishi will be open Christmas Day and is taking reservations.  Give them a call at 215-860-5511 to book your table.  They’re located at 2808 South Eagle Road in Newtown.

Wherever you decide to go, I hope you enjoy your time with family and friends this Christmas season.  If you have any real estate needs that come up, please don’t hesitate to call me at 215-504-2512.  Merry Christmas!

Stage Your Home and Include the Garage

garageSelling your home means you need to take time to make sure it is ready to be shown. Curb appeal and fixing up your home is so important. It needs to be ready for the market.

These days the garage can be a fundamental point for buyers. They add storage space, home offices, hobby areas as well as a place to park cars.

There are some home listings where sellers simply use the garage to store all their stuff that they plan to take with them or get rid of. While that might be convenient for the current homeowners, it’s not very desirable for buyers. They want to see what the garage really looks like and how it might suit their needs.

If buyers can barely walk into the garage, they will likely skip it entirely. Or they may try to maneuver around it.

Consider packing your boxes or storing them in a storage space or at a friend’s. Getting as much stuff out of the house as possible is very important. Don’t underestimate the power of a clean, tidy, spacious garage.

A good-looking garage will attract buyers. Do what you can to improve your garage but start with the basics.

Buying or Selling a Home

Anna Horse Logo Black with KW logo - SmallerBuying or Selling a home requires difficult decisions. Your Realtor should be the top expert in that particular area.

Selling or Purchasing a home is the biggest decision your family will ever make, it involves many decisions.

As the Top Realtor in Bucks County, I will guide you through the entire process. You will have full access to homes available on the market, even comparable listings.

My expert knowledge of the area should be invaluable, not just in real estate, but schools, neighborhoods, the local economy, and more.

Is the home you are interested in priced too high? Is your home priced to high? I’ll make sure you get the best value.

I will help you negotiate, so the final contract includes your best possible terms and conditions. You should know absolutely everything about the property that you are buying or selling!

I will give you full benefit of my knowledge, experience and expertise.

Call or email me with any questions you may have. I can be reached at 215-504-2512 or email me at AnnaDomzalski@KW.com.